April 29, 2012
April 24, 2012
This is probably the most obnoxious episode I've ever produced. I'm so sleep deprived, so full of caffeine and booze that I sound like I'm high on cocaine, plus the soundtrack is entirely Divas/Knockouts themes. Listen at your own risk. Here, to make it up to you, here are some homoerotic screenshots from this week's shows:
PS a few movies I recommend: Hell Comes to Frogtown, Three Businessmen, Urge to Kill
April 21, 2012
Now, I guess to try and fully illustrate that point I should be posting an hour-long epic, but instead I'm going to post this 20 minute battle between Riki Choshu and Killer Khan which I think fits the bill. It's pretty classic good guy/bad guy action, comin' atcha from August 9, 1986 (AJPW). Riki's the one in the white boots, and Khan is the one in the Mentors hood. I'd love to see Punk and Lesnar have a match like this if Brock chases the title after he takes John Cena apart next weekend.
April 20, 2012
Cue the theme.
Our first match of this night is Mr Perfect vs The Red Rooster. Only it's not the Red Rooster, it's Terry Taylor. I liked him better with the short red mohawk. Not a bad match but not the most exciting. So far i like how RAW puts upper card guys against midcarders and they actually have a match. This must have blown people away after years of jobbers. Mr. Perfect gets the 1 2 3.
Next up, the Hitman comes out to the ring and has a interview with Vince. He comments on how Razor Ramon said a bunch of shit about his family and kicked Owens ass. Kinda the usual face promo. But i don't care, Bret Hart rules and i can't wait for this match. Ill be reviewing these episodes of RAW and the PPV's as well. Really looking forward to that match.
How do you follow up a Hitman Hart promo? Why not with a Marty Janetty match? I actually think that Janetty gets a really bad rap. It's sad. He was a good wrestler, just overshadowed by HBK. But this match doesn't do him any favors. He is up against Glen Ruth, a jobber who ended up as one of the headbangers. The amazing thing about this match is just how 80's the guys look. But it's 1993! I was only 11 so i had no idea what was going on. You were right in the middle of grunge and still everyone looked like they were from poison, with mullets that they started growing in 1986.
The dramatic feud between Kona Crush and Doink rages on. We are treated to a clip from Superstars where Doink attacks Crush with a fake arm. Kooky!
Speaking of great feuds, we are treated to more Macho vs Repo. I like this story. It's so old school Unfortunately it's 1993 and i can see why the WWF would have issues with ratings a little later on. But for entertainment purposes in 2012 i love it. Repo is interviewed by Sean Mooney and gives Macho a bunch of shit about his hat. Macho is really mad about his hat and wants it back. The Royal Rumble is on the way and Macho threatens to kicks Repo's ass. Great stuff. Shakespeare couldn't have done better.
Next up, tonight's main event. Ric Flair vs Tito Santana. . Ric does his usual tricks, all but bleeding all over the place. They put on a classic style match. Near the end Ric is ambushed by Mr. Perfect and beaten up bad. Ric cuts a promo challenging Perfect to a loser leaves town match next week on raw. Perfect excepts. Should be interesting considering the Royal Rumble is just a week away.
Overall it was a good Raw. Rob Barlet was less irritating than last week. We got to see a lot of stars who we didn't see last week. And we got some new things to look forward to for next week. I gotta say i love these so far. You get the regional promotion feel , which i love considering i was raised on Portland Wrestling. But you also get all the legends of the era.
Till next week!
April 18, 2012
Well, right off the bat i see that RAW was a whole lot different when it started than it even was a few years later. Sean Mooney introduces us to Monday Night RAW LIVE from NY. He is then interrupted by Bobby Heenan who is desperate to get in. No one will let him in and i don't know why. Thru the episode he dresses up as a woman and as a jew but gets busted every time.
We then meet the commentators for the night. Macho Man, Vince, and Rob Bartlet. I have no idea who Rob Bartlet is but I already hate him. He has no idea who any of the wrestlers are and is constantly cracking really stupid jokes about them. I almost turned the show off the first minute i heard him talk. Lucky for us he will be hone in about 15 episodes, i hope i can make it.
Our first match is Coco Beware vs Yokozuna. Coco surprised me in this match with some good jump kicks and stuff. Yoko kinda did nothing. Rob Bartlet spent the whole match talking about how Yoko needed a bra and was fat and was Oriental and ate a lot. Yoko gets the pin after crushing Coco to death with his ass.
Next up we get some hot tag team action when The Steiner Brothers go against the Executioners. This was a fun match because I know that the Steiners loved to absolutely annihilate jobbers. I liked watching their sadistic smirks after cloths lining the opponents outta their shoes. Of course, the Steiners won.
Razor Ramon comes out in a super wild shirt and cuts a really slow promo on Bret Hart. The promo was boring but it got me excited to watch RAW next week because Bret Hart will be on. Razor throws his toothpick into Vince's face after the interview which is a move i gotta try at work to my customers.
Tonight is a huge deal! We are LIVE. The commentators keep using this choreographed catchphrase thingy "uncut uncensored and uncooked " . Each commentator saying a different word. So to celebrate such a momentous occasion let's have a TITLE MATCH!!! The intercontinental champ HBK makes it to the ring to his original theme (sung by Sensational Shari). His opponent? MAX MOON!!! WHO IS GUNNA WIN????? The match was good tho. HBK is always great. And Max Moon at least has pretty colors on his tights.
The final match of the night was a doozie. I have never heard of Damian Demento in my life but he looked cool. His jacket has teeth. And it was really cool to see The Undertaker way back then. He has such a cool look. I think they called heroin chic. The match was kinda boring but cute at the same time. In just a few years wrestling would be completely different. It was still a fun match.
We end this episode on a low note. Kona Crush get's in Doink the clowns face and cuts the worlds most unscathing promo, scalding him on making kids cry. I mean, this was the worst promo i ever heard. The only cool part of it was his 2 foot mullet. That was a amazing mullet.
So that's all for this week. Bobby Heenan finally got into the building, Rob Bartlet is one week closer to being fired , I just lost 40 minutes of my life ill never get back and you just lost 5 for reading this. See you next week in 1993.
April 17, 2012
Since I covered Smackdown on last week's episode, I guess I'll kick things off to a bang with Superstars! Well, that show sucked this week. Bring on NXT! A good Tyson Kidd match, but the rest was mostly dorky backstage segments. Alright, maybe I won't be able to kick things off with a bang with those programs, but I do actually have a cent or two's worth of input about what TNA was up to this week.
First of all, Impact still sucks. I think it's actually worse than when Russo was head writer, but from what I understand, it doesn't really matter who's head writer because Bischoff, Hogan, and Dixie Carter reformat everything themselves. Not that there's any real reputable source for that information. At any rate, Austin Aries and Christopher Daniels had an awesome match on Impact, which made me glad I watched the horrible rest. I wasn't expecting much from Lockdown on Sunday, given that the TV has been so dumb, but the PPV was actually pretty fun. I was expecting the least from the match that opened the show- a 6 on 6 man Lethal Lockdown match involving Garrett and Eric Bischoff. Despite not caring about the outcome, it was really entertaining, and a good use of the Lethal Lockdown gimmick. I'd say that only half of the matches on the card used the steel cage effectively. It didn't come into play at all in the other half, and seemed like an obstacle for those matches. To cover those real quick- Devon retained his TV title against Robbie E (in the first TV title match since the last PPV, those schmucks), Eric Young and ODB retained their Knockouts tag championship against the Mexican America ladies, Gail Kim used a trick from her WWE days to retain her Knockouts championship by rolling up Velvet Sky for the win, and Joe and Magnus retained their tag titles clean over the returning Motor City Machine Guns. The steel cage did come into play when Crimson escaped to beat Matt Morgan, and when Jeff Hardy dropped a massive Swanton Bomb off the top to get the 3-count on Kurt Angle. But the cage was used best in the main event, the TNA world title match between Roode and Storm, and it was a great match. Everything about it pointed to James Storm finally beating Roode. It's been a 5 month build since Roode betrayed Storm to get the title in the first place, and this was Storm's big chance to get revenge. Lockdown was in Nashville, Storm's home town, with his wife and friends in attendance. He had a special entrance with a pickup truck, primed to come out of Lockdown the new "man". Also, every title had been retained to that point in the PPV, so it seemed likely that one would change hands. The only thing in Roode's favor (from the way I was looking at it) was that the 2 previous matches had babyfaces going over, so it would be typical booking to have a heel take the next one. Even so, I was pretty sure that Storm was going to win, which I was rooting against heavily. Storm's alright, but Roode is incredible. He's a fantastic wrestler, cuts a mean promo, and is a despicable heel. I really like Robert Roode, and I cared a lot about the outcome of this match. On the match itself- what made it great was that I never knew who was going to win until they won. Both guys were awesome. If you want to know the result, you can find out, but I'd feel bad giving it away.
Moving on to some pro wrestling that we both watch, I really liked Raw last night. It opened with a really cool wrestling match, and the rest felt like a comedy show. Alice and I kept cracking up, which isn't what I tune in for, but it was fun. If there hadn't been any good wrestling, I would have been disappointed, but the Punk-Henry match totally made me mark out when Punk dropped the elbow with the steel chair to get the 3-count. I was pretty much a happy camper going forward. Even the Jericho bit didn't get on my nerves as much, but that's thanks in part to Punk being properly retaliatory on the mic (better late than never).
I would love to see a diagram of how many times Otunga's gotten the Cobra. Back when he was tag champs with McGillicutty, they'd face Santino and [fill in the blank] all the time, and the matches would always end with Otunga getting the Cobra. I'll bet Otunga's gotten that move more than anyone else in the past year. I'll bet he's gotten it more times than everyone else put together! It's almost as synonymous with his character as the travel mug is. That being said, I never get tired of seeing it. I love seeing David Otunga, the stuck up lawyer and horrible wrestler, getting stunned out by that ridiculous move.
Next up: "controversial words" from Brock Lesnar. As far as I could tell the only controversial word was "piss" which was bleeped out for no reason, since you could still hear him say "pi" and "ss". This was a cool video package, and Cena's promo later in the show drove the points home. Brock Lesnar is an ass-kicker. Brock Lesnar will kick ass. John Cena will get his ass kicked. If there are any other asses around, Brock Lesnar will kick them. Does that register?
My second favorite part of the show (after Punk's flying chair drop) was the backstage segment with DBD, Kofi, and AJ. Bryan "shush"es AJ, and starts beef with Kofi for talking to her, then screams "YES" in his face until Kofi has to awkwardly walk away. Then they have a match while AJ watches on a TV from backstage, with an adoring look on her face, which to be fair is probably what I look like when I'm watching Daniel Bryan matches. Bryan renames the LaBell lock the Yes Lock, which I think is overkill, but then again, it's the overkill that got it over in the first place, so what do I know. Here's a theory I have about the Yes thing: Daniel Bryan has been over for a long time, but people haven't been able to support him until now. His entrance music doesn't get a big pop because it's not a catchy rock song, and since he never had a real rallying cry before, people who might have been huge fans of his wouldn't have had a way to show their support. The Yes chant took off so strongly because people have been fans of his for a while now, but haven't been able to show it until recently. Just a theory.
So, anyway, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, blah blah blah. It might not be great television for Khali to be in action, but England's got a huge Indian population, so it's cool that WWE is catering to its live audience like that. That's keeping it old school.
The main event was John Cena versus a mystery opponent, and I figured it would be either Miz or Alberto Del Rio. I can't tell you how happy I was when Lord Tensai came out. And let me say this real quick: the Lord Tensai and monk stooge characters are racist. They are portrayed offensively. Their look is straight out of old comics, with the yellow skinned, black robed caricatures who can't stand still without pressing their hands together as if in prayer. It's wildly outdated, and it's bad. So, now that I've said that, I like Lord Tensai. He's a very solid wrestler suffering from a gangrenous gimmick. I look forward to him having more matches like this one with Cena, against real opponents who will hopefully force him to upgrade his character a little bit. It wouldn't take much to fix it, really. I think it might be as simple as getting rid of the monk stooge. Then maybe switch the name up to Lord T-Train, and we'll be in business.
So that's it from me! Actually I just read your post, so now I can reply to that. I agree it's sad that Ziggler's on the losing side of a feud with Brodus Clay, but I wouldn't be too worried. He's just a go-to guy for getting other people over, and there's nothing wrong with that (as long as his opponents are worthy). Okey, so Brodus Clay may or may not be worthy, but Ziggler will be around. We know he can talk, and out-wrestle guys like Kofi and Morrison, so he's bound to get better spots.
I'm glad you agree that DBD is funny and awesome. I think you haven't mentioned him in a while and I wasn't sure if you were fully on board or not. I'm also glad you're as into Ryback as I am.
The unrelated screenshots I used feature Stan Hansen, David and Kevin Von Erich dropkicking Jumbo Tsuruda (with Genichiro Tenryu looking on), and Silly Willy Regal. He would knock me cold for calling him that.
Dashingly yours, Quarter Marshall
PUNK VS WSM
I liked this match. Punk and Henry work well together. Punk can bring something out in Henry that others can't. He makes Henry look strong, not slow. So the match was cool. What wasn't cool was the stupid back and forth with Punk and Jericho. The beer and whiskey attacks were kinda cheesy, but they were also kinda brutal and psycho. So i feel they had effect. This whole verbal thing just looks like a guy making up a bunch of lies and looking like a gossiping teen.
SANTINO VS OTUNGA
When this batch was announced i realised that this episode was going to be lame. I love Santino but i don't want to see him often. And what the hell is with Otunga??!! The guy looks like he only eats roids and protein shakes. I don't hate him but he is getting a big push and it kinda bothers me. I like him as a Stooge, not a real wrestler. So i didn't care about this match, moving on...
BROCK LESNER VIDEO PACKAGE
This was the coolest part of the show. I HATED Brock Lesner before he came back. I thought he was a huge gross monster and i don't like big gross monsters. He also is a MMA guy and i hate MMA. But now that he is back i love him. This is exactly what cena needs. Someone he could lose to. Cena has been built up as a god and has had no foes for way too long. Remember the capital punishment PPV where the main event was Cena vs R truth? What a bunch of crap. I think they should book him like they used to with Hogan or Undertaker, bring in a new guy to make it look like he can lose. Or bring in a new guy and make him lose. Anything but having him face another Miz at Mania. Dear god!! So anyway, i really like Lesner now. I cant wait to see what happenes with him.
RYDER VS KANE
I feel sorry for kane. He never has anything cool to do. And Ryder worked so hard to get over and once he did they pulled him off tv and crushed everything. Now Ryder is a mid card goofball with nothing to do. I didn't give a shit about this match. I will say that the rematch with Kane and RKO after mania was better than the mania match. I really liked it.
KOFI VS DBD
DBD is my favorite thing going in the wwe. He is funny and awesome. I loved his YES YES YES YES backstage promo in Kofi's face. The match was cool too. Kofi is a boring good guy but i like how he wrestles. Other than the first punk/wsm match this was the only other good part of raw.
ZIGGLER VS BRODUS
Ziggler is going to be lost forever. Something is just not clicking with him and i worry he will be a jobber to the mid card forever. Take this stupid match for instance. gag.
BIG K/BIG SHOW VS EPICO/PRIMO
I want to call tonight the death of the tag team division. It bums me out and i don't want to think about it.
TENSAI VS CENA
It's kinda sad but i don't think that Lord Tensai will ever get over in the WWE. He is really old school but not funny at all. I just don't see anyone giving a shit about him. Speaking of. I didn't give a shit about this match either. What a lame way to end RAW.
But let us not end this RR newsletter on a sad note. I want to admit( even tho he wasn't on raw tonight for no good reason) I love Rybeck. He is another gross animal and he is awesomely stupid. I want more gross animals in the WWE to make the smaller guys look tough. So rybeck is cool with me. He also does that arm thing that the bad guy in Bloodsport does when he wins matches.
Well that's it for me. I read on the Botchamania page that the TNALockdownPPV sucks. I'm excited to hear what you have to say about it. And also, welcome to the page Sandy Ravage. I love having updates on here. I;m so lazy about it myself but i do check it all the time. Maybe ill put a Mat Classic up today.
Till next time, stay DASHING!!!
April 07, 2012
What I didn't remember is that
1. Ted Dibiase was his manager for his 2 appearances. Because even Santa has a price.
2. It was Ballz Mahoney! One of the better big fat gross guys to ever get over. Which is why Paul Heyman is brilliant. You got a guy over by calling him Ballz.
Anyways....here's proof it exists.....
April 06, 2012
Yes, A guy that used to work in WWE...that quit....then got more famous by trying to be an NFL player...then even more famous by being a UFC Heavyweight Champ...oh and he's married to Sable (Rena Mero)...oh and his manager is Paul Heyman. Some how that wrinkly necked monster got famous for quitting, not being good enough, losing, and marrying Johnny B Badd's sloppy seconds.
Brock Lesnar's time in WWE was weird for me. I follow the product more now than I did then. The Lesnar vs Angle year was one of the few Wrestlemania's I missed since the Iron Man Match in the 90s. He always bugged me to look at, wasn't a good promo, was shoved down my throat, but then there was Paul Heyman sitting there building him up. How could I really hate the guy? Paul Heyman made me love and then hate Mike Awesome. Now I'm indifferent about Mike Awesome but at the time I was fairly vocal (to myself because I don't really talk to anyone else about wrestling).
When Lesnar left, I suddenly began to like him a lot more than before. I don't like UFC, but I actually watched a few of his "bouts." It cracked me up. The big stupid sword thing on his chest and the big scary monster on his back. It cracked me up that he was such a big dumb animal that he wanted to actually hurt people rather than not hurt people and still make lots of money. It was almost more about the comedy of it all than anything else.
I'm glad Brock is back.
1. No legitimate monsters that I'm actually scared of in this business anymore.
2. The off chance that Paul Heyman may come back in any way would immediately make the business better.
3. Legitimate scary dudes help blur reality.
4. He proved that he actually did care about professional wrestling or he probably wouldn't ever do it again.
5. He actually did have a few great matches with Angle and Guerrero and Taker.
Where this whole thing will go I don't know. I won't share the rumors I've heard. It actually didn't have anything to do with Undertaker which was shocking with their apparent legit heat (seems like that whole thing might have been a work...remember Paul Heyman and Vince have always had weird secret dealings). All I know is that it's always nice to have somebody in the WWE that can wrestle and is actually famous outside of just wrestling.
April 05, 2012
Since the Poncho Man Sandy Ravage is obviously a pretty lame character I decided to not make some cool edited image etc. Or just the fact I don't know how to edit pictures.
Introduce myself to the readers who don't know me....I'm the Poncho Man. I've been watching professional wrestling at least since 91. Undertaker was my first favorite wrestler. He made his debut right around the time I remember watching wrestling. I sometimes watch old WCW/NWA and oddly remember things....so maybe that's just when I got into the WWE or really actually began to care. I'm 29 now....so something like 22 years of wrestling fandom.
Rusty made a comment in his last podcast about not knowing exactly why he should care about something, because he doesn't have the long history of watching this stuff. It really got me to thinking about the difference between a long time viewer and for lack of a better term a "newbie."
Honestly, I keep up on things by listening to you guys and reading news/spoilers on the internet. I'll do my absolute best to not spoil anything when I write anything. I have no problem with spoilers. This is a business that isn't real. Half the time spoilers never come true. I think Sting has been coming to WWE at least a billion times in the last 10 years. Spoilers for me act as a commercial for why I might actually care to watch an episode. But yeah, I don't really watch much anymore....the odd WWE or ROH ppv might end up on my radar, but usually only after I hear about how great a match was.
So, the difference between a "newbie" and me is exactly what Wrestlemania was all about this year. The Rock vs John Cena. The Attitude Era vs The PG Era. The era where you had to actually be some what awesome to get a push vs The Era Where everything is written for you and you're handcuffed by "Vince's Imaginary Rules."
This is the main reason that when I listen to you two talk about your favorites I sometimes get confused. Mark Henry Love, Sheamus Love, John Cena Love......Huh? I understand that we like who we like. I think Val Venis was awesome. His work was sharp and his promos hilariously stupid. He did as much as he could with crap storylines and a character that would never get him past mid-card status.
Mark Henry is a terrible wrestler. He's been active in WWE longer than everyone except Undertaker and Triple H. Yet every time they push him as a monster....he gets injured. Similar body type, similar style...VADER. THE GREATEST MONSTER IN WRESTLING. The guy could do moon saults. Everytime Mark Henry leaves his feet....he gets injured, and cuts a stupid promo about how angry and big he is. With that much experience....he should be like Kane by now....where we actually can believe he can compete with all the top guys, whether he's a good wrestler or not.
Sheamus....Triple H's work out buddy. Nuff Said. I've never been able to decide what's worse....his Heel persona of "I'm Angry because I'm Irish" or his face persona of "I have one move and smile."
So I might be rambling a bunch, but my point is this. The Rock came in and was given a crap character and made Ron Simmon's bitch. The crowd HATED him for the first year because they felt he'd been given too much too fast because of his family.Yet, you literally saw, over a two year period, that guy grow as a promo guy and as a wrestler. It was obvious. They had to start giving him more time on the mic and bringing him up in the ranks.
John Cena came along and was given a crap rapper character and has certainly came a long way. Problem was no legitimate wrestling fan understood why John Cena got pushed so fast. Suddenly he had an album out. Then the movies. Which is all fine...Hogan did the same thing. Problem was...who was he? Where did he come from? Why was he getting pushed when Christian was floundering. Sabu was tailor made for Vince to make into a radical cartoon character. Rob Van Dam only got pushed because the audience demanded it (Cena Wins We Riot). Too many guys who had payed dues and were over with the audience were just forgot about to push a handsome ripped dude with little experience and a decent promo.
I'm not a huge Rock fan. Never really have been. I usually cheered for the other guy. But I wasn't bored or unhappy with him winning. (See late 90s Triple H for being legitimately bored by someone always winning) He deserves his spot. He was never crammed down my throat. He put more people in seats losing to Stone Cold than John Cena did beating Randy Orton and Edge and Kurt Angle every month for years.
I really actually believe that this entire year has been a big thank you from Vince McMahon to all the fans that have never left and aren't 10 or younger. John Cena seems to finally be working in a more off the cuff nature....which I think is because he had a talent like The Rock to work with....and it wasn't just a match of two guys shoved down my throat.