April 18, 2012


EPISODE ONE - 1 .11.1993

I'm always looking for old school wrestling to watch. It relaxes me. So yesterday i decided that i would just DL the first ten episodes of Monday Night RAW. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Now i;m not so sure. I have just entered a whole new world of weirdness. And if I'm having to go thru it im dragging SCW down with me.

Well, right off the bat i see that RAW was a whole lot different when it started than it even was a few years later. Sean Mooney introduces us to Monday Night RAW LIVE from NY. He is then interrupted by Bobby Heenan who is desperate to get in. No one will let him in and i don't know why. Thru the episode he dresses up as a woman and as a jew but gets busted every time.

We then meet the commentators for the night. Macho Man, Vince, and Rob Bartlet. I have no idea who Rob Bartlet is but I already hate him. He has no idea who any of the wrestlers are and is constantly cracking really stupid jokes about them. I almost turned the show off the first minute i heard him talk. Lucky for us he will be hone in about 15 episodes, i hope i can make it.

Our first match is Coco Beware vs Yokozuna. Coco surprised me in this match with some good jump kicks and stuff. Yoko kinda did nothing. Rob Bartlet spent the whole match talking about how Yoko needed a bra and was fat and was Oriental and ate a lot. Yoko gets the pin after crushing Coco to death with his ass.

Next up we get some hot tag team action when The Steiner Brothers go against the Executioners. This was a fun match because I know that the Steiners loved to absolutely annihilate jobbers. I liked watching their sadistic smirks after cloths lining the opponents outta their shoes. Of course, the Steiners won.

Razor Ramon comes out in a super wild shirt and cuts a really slow promo on Bret Hart. The promo was boring but it got me excited to watch RAW next week because Bret Hart will be on. Razor throws his toothpick into Vince's face after the interview which is a move i gotta try at work to my customers.

Tonight is a huge deal! We are LIVE. The commentators keep using this choreographed catchphrase thingy "uncut uncensored and uncooked " . Each commentator saying a different word. So to celebrate such a momentous occasion let's have a TITLE MATCH!!! The intercontinental champ HBK makes it to the ring to his original theme (sung by Sensational Shari). His opponent? MAX MOON!!! WHO IS GUNNA WIN????? The match was good tho. HBK is always great. And Max Moon at least has pretty colors on his tights.

The final match of the night was a doozie. I have never heard of Damian Demento in my life but he looked cool. His jacket has teeth. And it was really cool to see The Undertaker way back then. He has such a cool look. I think they called heroin chic. The match was kinda boring but cute at the same time. In just a few years wrestling would be completely different. It was still a fun match.

We end this episode on a low note. Kona Crush get's in Doink the clowns face and cuts the worlds most unscathing promo, scalding him on making kids cry. I mean, this was the worst promo i ever heard. The only cool part of it was his 2 foot mullet. That was a amazing mullet.

So that's all for this week. Bobby Heenan finally got into the building, Rob Bartlet is one week closer to being fired , I just lost 40 minutes of my life ill never get back and you just lost 5 for reading this. See you next week in 1993.

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