April 30, 2013

MMS: Legs Get a Pizza

April 12, 2013

Quarter Marshall's Wrestlemania Recap

Gee but ain't we all so glad to have our ol' pal, the progenitor of SCW, Rusty Nickles back in action.  So Mr. Nickles, you wanted to hear my thoughts on WWE stuff?  Well, be careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get it.  Here we go, this could take a while.

As you may know, I was down in Sancisco last weekend, and wasn't sure if I'd catch the PPV or not.  Turns out, even though he hasn't watched wrestling in years, my brother was totally down to watch it.  My sister was visiting from Connecticut at the same time, and she wasn't as enthusiastic but was open to it and was just cool with hanging out and drinking beers.  The three of us sat through the entire thing, eating soul food, drinking beer, and having a blast.  It didn't take long for my sibs to join in with me in all of the hooting and hollering and carrying on and such.  Without being too critical about the matches, it was a really fun PPV to watch and I actually felt I got my money's worth.  That being said, now I'll go ahead and get critical about the matches...

The Shield v Babyface Dipshits
Marked out for the win.  This match was pale in comparison to the Shield's previous matches, but it wasn't their fault.  This got me, and the New Jersey crowd pretty fired up, so great opener.

Mark Henry v Ryback
When Henry got Shellshocked I popped like the proverbial weasel.  Other than that, this match was kind of a throwaway, since there's nowhere to really go with it.  Water under the bridge.

Hell No v Zigg E
Big E really stood out in this match, if only because I haven't seen him wrestle as a heel before, which he did quite well.  The match seemed like business as usual though, and would have seemed at home in the middle of Raw or Smackdown.  It was still fun, but no big deal.

Jericho v Fandango
I told you so.

Swagger v ADR
Still don't give a fuck.  I used this to illustrate to my siblings the difference between good and bad wrestling matches.  (It was of the latter category.)  There was no logic or psychology to it, it just felt like they were taking turns being on top, back and forth, back and forth, without any kind of logical rhythm or sense.  Del Rio's wrestling is so nice and clean, but his matches are rarely any good at all, it's a shame.

Punk v Taker
My expectations were unreasonably high, but they totally delivered.  Punk coming out in purple, mocking Taker at every step, pulling off Old School when Taker had failed, going for the tombstone... there were so many great moments.  This was all about Taker's legacy, and Punk payed homage to it over and over and over again, albeit under the veil of mockery.  This match was the example I used to illustrate to my siblings what a good match is like, when everything is rolled out in a logical way, telling a story full of surprises and keeping the audience avidly rapt.  Needless to say, this was my favorite match of the night, and of the year so far.

HHH v Lesnar
The smoke machine thing got dry ice all over HHH , causing 2nd degree burns.  I was laughing at him for having goop on him and looking silly, but now it's the most memorable part of the match because he was totally stonefaced while he was getting burned.  That's badass.  The match was fun in the moment, and the card definitely benefited from such a heavy hitting bout, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.  Dave Meltzer gave it 1 1/2 stars, which I thought was way harsh but also hilarious.

Cena v Rock part deaux

A little better than last year.  The finish was shit, but maybe that was because Rock was hurt.  So he says.  They kept teasing Cena's dubious heel turn right up to the end of the PPV, with the slow handshake after the match and the prolonged "friendship" ending.  I was screaming bloody murder at my brother's flatscreen, "HIT HIM!!! HIT HIM WITH THE BELT YOU FUCKER!!!"

I'm in the habit now of watching Raw on Tivo, and fast forwarding through ads and boring matches.  I should have laid off the remote for this one, but I didn't.  I missed the chants during the Orton-Sheamus match and the Barrett-Miz match, because I had no interest in them, but now, after seeing all the feedback online, regret not sitting through them.  The parts I did watch, though, were pretty interesting.

John Cena is a Heel
For the past few weeks, Cena's been subtly antagonizing the crowd.  My theory is that he turned heel the second he was rock-bottomed at the debate 2 weeks before Mania.  The week after that, his promo was antagonistic and pretentious.  It was still well within the bounds of his face character, but he was laying it on a bit thick.  At Mania, as Rusty pointed out to me, he wrestled as the heel.  I think this was magnified by Rock's injury, as Cena needed to use a lot of long rest holds for him, which is usually something reserved for getting heat.  On this week's Raw, his cheery indifference to the booing went a step further than usual, seeming a little smarmy and smug.  It could be that he's just having fun with the smarky Mania crowds, inciting forum posts, blogging, twittering and touting, all of us trying to guess what will happen next, but it could also truly be a slow burn of a character change.

Dolph Ziggler is World Heavyweight Champion (again)
I say "again", but his first reign wasn't even so much a story as it was a sentence.  Not even a paragraph.  I've heard him say in interviews that he doesn't count the first title win, and to be fair, neither do the fans.  Ziggler's win feels so right, it might be difficult for him to muster much heel heat.  He certainly won't get any heat against lame-duck-Del-Rio, so who's the good guy for him?  I'll bet if Orton or BS jumped Ziggler, the crowd would accept Ziggs as a good guy instantly.  We shall see.  Anyway, Ziggler's cashing in and winning was pretty epic, even if it was predictable from a mile away.

Ryback turns Tweener
Yeah, he already was, but I still think it's cool.

The Shield jump The Undertaker
For me, this was the mark-out moment of the night.  Totally unexpected.  And how cool was it that Hell No made the save, and that the three stood in solidarity?  REALLY COOL that's how cool.

Barrett wins the IC title back from The Shit
From now on I will only refer to The Shit as The Shit because he is The Shit.  But not like "the shit" in a good way, no, no, not at all, I am calling him The Shit because he is the ultimate in shittiness.  The new Botchamania today called him out on not knowing how to do a figure 4.  Thanks Maffew, you speak for all of SCW!  Oh, and yay Wade Barrett, or something.

Fandango gets Over
I told you so.

April 10, 2013

Rusty Nickles is WrestleCrazy

Ok, Mania gave me a little kick in the ass when it comes to watching wrestling. Also I have been really bored and a little bummed for the past few days and wrestling always helps that. As you know I watched Mania twice in 24 hours. I liked it a lot more the 2nd time around. It was fun.

But it was nowhere near that awesomeness that RAW was. I gotta say, that was one of the best episodes of raw I have seen in years. The audience was great, shit actually happened, the undercard felt important. It was great. The only bummer is that punk was gone. Oh well. You cant win all the time.


So I actually watched some extracurricular wrestling for once. I'm currently half way thru WrestleMania 17 right now. It's from a week after they bought WCW so it's interesting. I also watched Mania 23. The one where Batista fought Taker. It was good stuff. Not a lot to say about them. They are fun little time capsules.

IN OTHER NEWS My favorite old wrestling podcast is back. These guys used to do a really funny daily podcast for The Score radio last year till contract stuff got in the way. But they do it on their own now. Check it out. http://www.normsousa.com/cdp-rawesomemania-with-archi-zuber/ I still wanna know what you tow thought of mania and RAW. TELL ME


April 08, 2013


Sit back, relax, and listen to my Wrestlemania review that sounds like I recorded it in 1976.

April 06, 2013

Poncho Man's Wrestlemania Preview

One day away from Wrestling Christmas. Are we excited? I don't know if you are, but I sure am. Maybe it's because I'm a huge mark and I always get excited for Wrestlemania. We kinda know it's not the most exciting show for a smark, and it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be a cluster fuck of bad rappers, random Pee-Wee appearance, and a few good matches.

Honestly, I think this is actually a pretty well booked Wrestlemania. In the honor of Poncho Man's Positivity let's discuss why....

Wade Barrett vs The Miz for the Intercontinental Championship (Pre-Show)
This match makes me happy because I now hate The Miz. He's been so horrible lately. Partly because of what he's been given, but wow...he sucks. So yeah...the main eventer is now a Pre-Shower. I'm stoked. Good for him sucking.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry
So I get it. In the last two years they finally found a way to make a shitty wrestler awesome. Positive that this will be a bad match. Ryback will win. This is old school Vince at his best. Maybe the match I care least about.

Team Hell No vs Dolph and Big E for the Tag Belts
Okay. So AJ is the only thing holding this little feud together. I get it. It's totally pointless. Yet, I'm excited. I think this will be a really good match. Either were going to finally break up the boys, or Dolph will get BIG loss to prompt the BIG push. As in...no one cares about Jack Swagger and Del Rio.

Speaking of which....

Jack Swagger vs Del Rio for the Heavyweight Champion
I've enjoyed the build to this. I told a friend of mine that I felt this was Sgt. Slaughter vs Hogan/Wrestlemania XII level shit. I think I've gotten used to cheesy Smackdown builds. This is classic Smackdown...but with a weird political edge. I enjoy political commentary when it's kinda ambiguous, and is on a television show that usually steers clear of anything like this. That being said...I don't care who wins. It doesn't really matter. Hopefully it will be a good match, and I have fun watching it.

Randy, Sheamus, Show vs. The Shield
Remember The Shield's first match at TLC? That was awesome. I think this match will actually be awesome. I know you guys aren't a big fan of talking about what you think will happen, but I really want to...I think this is where Orton turns heel. Which will fucking suck balls if he joins The Shield. It will be exciting for a second, but then it will be like burying Dean Ambrose. Unless this is building to a feud. I don't know. I just have a big inkling because they've teased Show and Sheamus turning on their team. Yep.

Jericho vs. Fandango
Love it. Love it. Love it........Love it.

Triple H vs. Lesnar
I enjoyed the last match. I think I'll enjoy this match. I think we know who will win. It just doesn't matter. I'm sure it will be brutal and great.

Jericho vs. Fandango
Jon Lovitz.

Punk vs. Undertaker
Maybe it's because these guys are my two favorite wrestlers that still wrestle, but I've loved this build too. It's cheesy and perfect. Undertaker doing cheese, but with somebody that is actually a really good wrestler and not Mabel...is the whole reason I started watching wrestling. It's almost like Undertaker knows what I want to see him do at Wrestlemania. Just wrestle guys that I like. Wish he and Jericho had done something instead of like Batista or Big Show and Sweet T. We never really talked about Paul Bearer on this thing. I miss knowing that he's out there being scary. I don't care who wins. This will be great and I feel so much more invested than I was for Punk/Jericho last year.

Jericho vs. Fandango
Lyle Lovett

The Main Event.
If Cena turns heel...I'll eat a small hat....made out of cake. I really just want to go find what I had to say about last years match...and repost it...and I'm sure it's probably how I feel about this match.

Okay...so has my positivity taken you over? Are you stoked?! Never doubt the power of Wrestling Santa. See you guys here....Monday. Poncho Out.