December 14, 2013

SCN: Title Unification, Smackdown Taping, 3-on-1s, Podcasts, and Twerking

Dear Mine Savory Gentlemen,

For the record, I am FOR the Title Unification.  I honestly can't believe that I talked to each of you for 5 minutes this week without it ever coming up.  Or maybe we did talk about it but I forgot.  Anyway, it's wicked important, or as you say here on the west coast; hella important.  It's wicked hella important.  Triple H ain't blowing no smoke when he says how huge it is.  I was going to write up a whole post about the histories of each title, with personal sentiments about my fondest memories of each one and all of that kind of business, but whatever.  That just isn't what I want to write about.

Pretty much everything that Triple H has been saying is right in line with my own point of view.  The championship will mean twice as much (or more).  It will make everything else in WWE look better by proxy.  The WWE will be more organized, and more approachable to new viewers.  Really, the only thing I'm not thrilled about is the name of the title.  The words "unified" and "undisputed" will be meaningless when there is only one top-tier title.  "WWE World Heavyweight Champion" or even just "WWE World Champion" carries a timeless gravitas without any trite buzzwords.  In my opinion, "WWE World Champion" is the way to go, because it sounds the coolest, and most accurately describes it's importance.

I've heard a lot of whines about the Cena-Orton match-up, because of how many main events they've faced off in already, but I feel that this is simply the way it has to be in order to give the new World Title maximum credibility.  They're the two top guys in the company, a natural babyface and a natural heel (of course we all like Bryan and Punk more, but Cena and Orton have better drawing numbers on paper, and they're more emblematic of the past decade).  I honestly don't know who will win.  My first sense is Cena, because he's The Man and I want him to because I'm a mark.  My second sense is Orton, because of Buddy Rogers (heel) inaugurating the WWWF Championship so that Bruno (face) could take it from him a month later.  The more I think about it, the less confident I am in picking a winner.  I guess that's good booking.

Some of the other matches on the TLC card are whack-- Punk v Shield and Bryan v Wyatts?  Instead of TLC it should be WTF hahahahahahahahahahathatsnotfunny.  Anyway, either Punk or Bryan should go over somehow, whether it's implosion of the Shield or the Wyatts with some weird plan of theirs.  One thing I know is that I'll miss all the Punk/Shield and Bryan/Wyatt matches on TV, that is if this is the culmination of either feud.  I guess there is room for either to go on, regardless of the outcomes of the matches.

The Superstars/Main Event/Smackdown taping was really long.  I think next time I'll go for the $45 tickets because sitting diagonally in a forward-facing seat got uncomfortable before Smackdown even started.  I haven't watched any of the shows yet but if I'm ever on camera I'll probably be tired-looking, from a combo of sitting weirdly, and having to listen to mark-ass teenagers behind me talk about pro wrestling like they were experts, along with some old dude loudly compare everyone in the ring to Jimmy Snuka, who apparently was better at EVERYTHING.  The guy did like Drew McIntyre though, and sympathized that it "just ain't right what they're doing to him."  I was really missing you dudes.

My BBF Brendan was a good sport about coming along, and one of our favorite things to laugh about throughout the show was a sign being held up constantly by a 14-16 year old young man sitting diagonally in front of us that said "TWERK 3:16".  That's a good damn sign.

Bryan was just on Steve Austin's podcast and he was adorable.  Kevin Steen was on the other day.  I haven't heard it yet, but I'm super curious.  First I should finish the Kevin Steen Show with Paul London, I'm only about halfway through.  If you haven't seen it, the KSteen Show is awesome, but only if you're Poncho Man and not if you're Rusty Nickles.  If you're Rusty Nickles you won't understand half the shit these people are talking about.  If you are the Poncho Man you will really enjoy the Kevin Steen Show.  Art of Wrestling with Colt Cabana is either okay, good, or great from week to week, but Lance Storm is the latest guest, and I can't wait to hear it.  He's one of my favorite interviewees in pro wrestling.  His RF Video shoot is one of their best (and most coherent), and Austin's podcast with him is just as listenable.  Chris Jericho just started a podcast, but I have no interest in it because if I hear him talk about Fozzy for two seconds I might start to forget how radical his latest WWE match (v RVD on Raw) was.

Anyhoo gotta go get m'crosshairs and m'beer stand an' check out some muthafuckin' Lumosity an' get some T-plus in m'cart, and I'll catch yer ass down the road!

PS If I can find footage of myself (or Poncho) on SStars, ME or SDown I will post again soon with images.

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